This blog was started as a way to keep family and friends informed about what is happening in our lives, especially to show pictures and tell stories about Morgan (and now Piper). We do not live close to most of our family, so this was a good way to keep in touch with everyone. I've been finding more and more, especially lately, that it is a good outlet for thoughts that may not be so "nicey-nicey" (I know that's not a word, but it's what came to mind). It really helps me put some things in perspective. I don't want it to be a place where I just complain, so I will do my best to balance these things with cute photos of a smiling toddler and baby, but I also want to be real...and life is not always so "nicey-nicey."
I had a thought this morning (or Tuesday morning as I am scheduling this to post on Wednesday)...and this is amazing because I had the WORST night with Piper. She is in the middle of what can be known as the "4 month wakeful period." Not that she's been a great sleeper. Ever. But, she's waking up at least 3 times every night lately. I'm so tired. This morning Morgan also woke up at 5:15 and whined and whined and wouldn't go back to sleep. I lost it. I won't give you the gory details, but poor David had to endure it. He took over and gave Morgan breakfast which let me rest (not really sleep) for another hour. He saved my day.
Interestingly enough, I found this quote on a blog I read regularly (dooce.com).
"There is no reason whatsoever to freak out about those things, but when you let sleep deprivation creep up on you, or certain other parts of your life start to spin out of control, those little things can seem like a giant concrete wall holing you up inside a bottomless pit."
This woman just knows how to say what I can't put into words. She is a mom of two with a new baby and deals with depression and anxiety. She has an amazing sense of humor and knows how to cut to the chase. I love reading her posts because I relate so well. Please read her post to get the context, but she's talking about how a lot of small things can just add up to completely overwhelming you. This morning I felt like I was in that bottomless pit. For me, to get through it I just have to keep moving. Getting out of the house helps. We made our occasional "pilgrimage" to the Babies R Us on the northside of town. They only had one of the things I wanted, but it was helpful to get out nonetheless. The pit doesn't seem so bottomless right now.
I had another epiphany this morning, but it is too much for this post. I will post more tomorrow... thanks for reading.