Portland - Part Two

Though we loved the time we had in Portland with family and friends, this trip had a purpose beyond that. As I have mentioned occasionally in this blog, I had a miscarriage in December 2006 when we first started to try to expand our family. That was a rough time for me. I really needed a place to use as an outlet to talk about my worries, my fears and how to move forward. During that time I was fortunate enough to find an online group for women who had been through the same experience. These women are from all over the country and are some of the most supportive, wonderful people I've "met." This year there were three "conventions" organized, one on Memorial Day weekend in St. Louis, this one in Portland and one to come in Washington D.C. in September.

We had five families attend our convention in Portland. Kelly was so generous to host a BBQ at her home. We had a great time meeting in person. I was nervous, but it really ended up feeling like we'd know each other forever...though it has been three and a half years for me. As you will see, these families have now been blessed with a few kids each now! It was so fun to see these little "sticky babies" play together. We've all seen tons of pictures of these kids and it was almost surreal for me to see them in one place. Here's some photos from the fun:

The fun continued at the Oregon Zoo on Sunday...more to come!

Stronger

Recently I've made a big effort to get back on the exercise bandwagon. Before I got pregnant (the first time), I was really into my yoga and cycling classes at our gym. I tend to be a wimp if I work out on my own, so classes are key to keep myself challenged.

It's been a looong time since I've been to any of these classes. I worked out quite a bit early on with the first pregnancy until the bleeding worsened (sorry, tmi...for me, the miscarriage involved a slow increase of bleeding, not just starting to bleed one day). The second time around I was terrified to over-exert myself during pregnancy, so walking was really my only exercise.

In the last few weeks I've taken both the yoga and cycling classes again and they've been great! I was convinced that I was going to be really weak in the yoga classes since it had been so long. I shocked myself by being able to do most of the poses. I was not as strong as before, but stronger than I expected. I was especially surprised by my arm strength. Then it dawned on me...a 22 pound baby's got built-in strength training at home every day. Thanks honey! There's a definite benefit to having a baby on the high end of the the weight scale!

I'm making an effort to get to the gym 3 times a week. I'd love to say I'll go more, but with working around naps and David's traveling, I think that's a good goal. Thankfully Morgan does well in childcare situations, so I don't (yet) have to deal with any meltdowns there. Working out makes me feel good and thus helps me be a better Mommy.

Thoughts on Blogs and Loss

Every day I have a routine of checking in on a few message boards I'm a part of and reading some various blogs. The blogs are so different from each other. I am still so new to this blogging thing and it just fascinates me. People use them for many reasons. Like me, some use it to keep friends and family informed of events in their lives and everyday things as well. Others use it as an outlet for emotion, frustration or whatever they need to "talk" about. I read such a diverse bunch of blogs that run the gamut of "styles." It is almost like reading different types of literature as the point of view of the author is so unique. Some blogs make me laugh hysterically. Other make me cry....a lot.

The ones that touch me most are stories of loss. Since I myself have dealt with the sadness of miscarriage, I know many people who have been through a similar loss. I also have learned of many people that are dealing with far more devastating situations such as infertility, mid-late pregnancy loss and the death of an infant. My heart just breaks for them. Nothing is more devastating. While I cry along with them I also admire their strength. Along with their pain is a hope. I am always in awe of when I see a situation so terrible that you can't imaging there could be an inkling of hope...but it is always there. I'd like to say that is the presence of God. Some of these women are Christians and some are not...but there is always hope that they will survive their circumstances and move to a more hopeful, joyful place in life. I guess when you hit bottom, that's the only place to go?

I'm going to be gradually adding some additional blogs to my list here. I will label them per their topic, so you will be fair-warned to the content. Though all our stories are different, I feel a connection to them. Some from message boards I frequent I like to call my online friends. Others are stories I've read through links on these friends' blogs. They go on and on. As there is sadness, there is hope. It is comforting to read the story of someone who has been through the same tough situation as you have. You should never be alone in that. Maybe someone will link to someone else's blog or "story" from mine and find hope in it. Happy Blogging!